So I’m there, a graduate in his late 20’s working part time for a small charity who are secretly about to get rid of me (I found out after secretly reviewing the coming year’s budget figures). They can’t afford to keep me…and the reason they realise they can’t afford to keep me is because of the new finance report I created for them…ironic. So I’m staring down the barrel of this gun feeling like a failure. And to top it off, the girl I’m interested in…isn’t interested.
But on the flip side it’s like, I’m this poet and self taught bass player getting ready for a gig where I’ll be playing in the house band and performing poetry in front of nearly 300 people.
And it’s like, the disparity between my two worlds is both beautiful and terrifying.
I never lost belief though, not once. My confidence was shattered, but I never lost belief. Otherwise I would’ve gone into hiding. But I stayed in plain sight because I wanted to share my story. I always believed it would get better, even though I was scared pretty much every day. I learned to believe through the fear.